Seen by Many, Known by Few

Seen by Many, Known by Few

By Anika R. Julka

Imagine this. We got home from school, we finished our homework, and then we get on social media. We have friends to talk to, both online and in real life; why does it still feel like we have nobody we can really talk to from the heart? We think: “Why don’t I have anyone to talk to or relate to?” This makes us wonder: “Why do we feel isolated when we have so many ways to communicate?” The question may boil down to the meaning of “communicate.” We have so many messaging apps; why do we feel like we can’t share our real thoughts with anyone? Frustrating, yes? We have online friends, receive and send messages every day, and still feel like we can’t express our genuine thoughts with anyone. There exists a fear of rejection, perhaps. It isn’t about how many people we know, but how we connect with each other. We can send each other greetings, share posts, or have casual conversations, but those conversations might never show the things that truly matter to us.

Question: why do we struggle to open up to our friends nowadays? This is usually due to not everyone feeling safe or comfortable to open up to others. This describes the trust issue. How does social media keep us in touch in the first place? It lets us communicate across long distances, maintain friendships outside of the offline world, and find others who like the same things we do. Sending messages and reacting to others’ posts helps us stay in contact, it doesn’t exactly lead to deeper conversations. We mistake constant communication for genuine connection, even when we still feel misunderstood or alone. That leads to a fear factor, and fear is the enemy of trust. Another question: is being in contact with someone the same as feeling comfortable enough to share worries, fears, or genuine feelings with each other?

To understand why people might hesitate to open up, we should consider their own feelings of being judged, misunderstood, ignored, or even seen differently by people they care about. I used to be like this, but now that I found a community where people genuinely care about me and would let me do the same for them. I learned to overcome that fear and just embrace it. But we should also understand that there are limits to what we can and can’t share. Our friends don’t have to fix everything we’re going through. Sometimes, even simply listening to each other and being there when we need them is enough. How do we build a healthy, communicative relationship? Well, what we first need to know is that trust takes time. We can’t rush the process because it can overwhelm us, and the others around us. We should also understand that support goes both ways. If only one of us supports the relationship, then the relationship can fall apart. Finding that one person we can relate to takes time, patience, and understanding.